Little Engine Mission

Being on the mission field is a difficult, humbling and growing experience. There are many wonderful and exciting aspects to living overseas. But the challenge with missions is that the one thing I am called to do is the one thing I cannot do! Think about it: The Lord commissions us all to “go and make disciples.” Sounds like a simple enough command, right? Well, it is an actual impossibility for any of us. Why? Because we cannot change hearts. We cannot move someone closer to the Kingdom. We cannot argue them into the Kingdom, not even woo them into it. We cannot make someone love God or be attracted to his nature. The work of converting hearts is the work of the Holy Spirit alone. And when he’s not moving in that way, it feels like we are knocking our heads up against a wall. I experienced this for many years, working with atheists in the former East Berlin and praying fervently for their salvation. There were times I doubted that the Gospel was really God’s power to accomplish it.

Image result for the little engine that could

No amount of Little Engine that Could pep talks can help. “I think I can-I think I can-I think I can“ doesn’t work. In fact, if we start thinking this way, our engine backfires because we are denying certain core truths inherent to the Gospel. We believe people are dead in their sins and cannot respond to God unless he regenerates their hearts. We believe that when He calls them, they respond because His voice is compelling and His work effective. No amount of my screaming to a corpse can make it come alive again. We even believe that outside human agency is not always involved in this process. All of these facts might lead us to believe that God doesn’t need us at all. And yet, God chooses to use his people in the process, mostly through their desperate supplications of behalf of their friends. It is a mystery I cannot truly comprehend.

Through my recent work with the refugees, I have been reminded repeatedly of God’s sovereign work and hand in people’s lives. Their needs are so huge, I know I’m helpless to help. My resources are naught, my compassion quickly exhausted, my control over situations illusory. Because of this, I am cast to my knees and so are they. The beautiful truth that this has shown me and them is that God is able. In the face of the terrible housing market, God has opened doors because we prayed. After a few months of asking God together, one of the ladies called and said: “Jesus gave me an apartment!” when a real estate agent called her out of the blue with a place for her and her family. She realized it was the Lord. Another woman said that during her journey towards the Christian faith she had started to pray that God would reveal himself to her so that she would know who he is. One night she had a dream in which a man stood behind her and spoke in a language she did not know but somehow understood what the man said: “all you need to know about me is that I am who I am.” She only realized later that this was Jesus. God has brought these precious people into our midst and I know full well I can’t…I don’t even think I can. My conclusion is the God who appeared to Moses in the burning bush, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is still the same today. He can still bring people back from the dead. That leads me to want to shout over the rooftops: “I knew He could-I knew He could-I knew He could!”

Women Lust Too

Lust... Though men are not animals at the mercy of their sexual desires, it still remains a battle for them to keep their gaze and mind pure. But what about women? Are they off the hook? Turning the tables in a one-to-one comparison doesn't do anyone any favors because men and women struggle in different ways. Albeit, there are women who struggle with lust over mens' bodies, or even women's bodies in a same sex attraction, but I would venture to say the majority of us women, especially married women, don't think we struggle with sexual lust, endowing us with a perceived moral high ground over men. Our thinking goes like this: "How could men struggle with lusting after other women? I don't lust after the bodies of other men!" 1. The woman's struggle with lust When a beautiful woman walks in the room or is flashed on a screen or billboard, all eyes are transfixed. This includes the gaze of women. Whereas the sinful lustful inner dialogue...

Are birthday suits better than bathing suits?~ Reflections on East German nudism

When the kindergarten beach trip pictures were finally posted, I became hysterical...with laughter. All the important body parts were, of course, covered and protected from the sun: every child was sporting a hat and sunglasses. The bathing suits I had packed for my children came back clean and neatly folded. A discussion with the teachers would not have helped. "What for?" would have been the response. Birthday suits are better than bathing suits! Still, I was left with the question of how to instill in my children a sense of modesty and propriety in a culture that clearly had very different values surrounding this topic. The FKK (Freikörperkultur, or free body culture, i.e. nudist movement) has become a hallmark of East German culture. Nudism has always existed in Germany, both in the East and the West, and was appropriated by radical representatives of various movements to signalize a return back to nature. The far right made use of it as an expression of G...

Is the Church Ready for a Post-Abortion World?

Baby at 5 months in the womb My neighbor, a foreigner to Germany, my friend and prayer partner came to me one day, hesitantly excited about her new pregnancy. She had another child, a 5 year old boy, and a husband who was a friendly neighbor but not a Christian. She was hesitant because she did not know how he would react to her news. Eventually she told him and his response was, “you need to get an abortion, or else I will leave you and take our son with me.” My friend came to me very distressed. She knew abortion was wrong. We spent a long time talking, praying and asking God to give her the strength to withstand his blackmail. A few weeks went by. She knocked on my door. She told me she had not had the courage and that the fear of man had overcome her. There was no more baby. We held each other and cried for such a long time. I reminded her of the forgiveness found in Jesus. Ever since, she has drifted. I have moved away to another part of town and have very little contact w...

Demonology 101

Shock After a few months on "our" mission field, a post-communist, dead, atheistic region, my family and I were reeling from the shock. No, not culture-shock, though there was plenty of that. It was the shock of coming face to face with demonic forces beyond our comprehension. Numerous strange events had transpired: liters of urine poured into our stroller, blood splattered on our apartment door, a small hole had been drilled into our front door indicating a planned break-in (the hole is used to insert a small probe camera), much sickness, poor sleep for us, and even sensing an evil presence in our bedroom. At first we thought we must be imagining things, but the horrid climax was the nightmares that tormented our two-year old son. For many months he’d wake up screaming bloody murder and we could not settle him back down easily. At two and a half, he was finally able to verbalize what he’d been dreaming about for the past few months. One of his most vivid dreams was a...

An Upside Down Birth

Julien and Christina with Jonathan Dear Baby Jonathan, The nurses and doctors jeered and mocked. I could see them at the nurses' station. They couldn't understand why your birth was so momentous and why the whole family was there to meet you. These sorts of professionals see the miracle of life every day. Why was it different this time? They cannot look a deformed baby in the face. They would have preferred your parents get rid of it (you) in secret and put an end to this suffering months ago. But your parents were much braver and stronger than that. Instead of skulking away into darkness and taking your life into their own hands, they placed you into the hands of God, your Maker. They let Him make the decision of when to take your life because He gave you to them in the first place. It was not easy. They cried a lot. They had to say good-bye to you before they ever met you because they didn't know that you would be born alive. But you surprise...

The Eowiggle

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